No. 3

own your aspirations

It is weird to be in my fifties.  I have been an adult for over thirty years.   In a consumption-focused culture, that means that I am not cool because I am not plugged in to the latest shows, music, lingo, or apps.  What it means in other cultures is that I have wisdom.  Like an elephant matriarch, I have a good idea of where the resources and threats are. 

I remember the first time I heard the word ‘aspirational’ in a marketing context.  I was talking with a marketing consultant that I hired.  The power of the word really hit me.   What do people aspire to?  I aspire to be kind.  To be a good parent.  To be of service.  I aspire to have friends and to be a good community member.  I aspire to leave the world a better place than I found it.  How was my marketing message going to connect with aspirations like that?

Curious, I searched Amazon for books on Simple Living to understand what other designers with a similar mission were saying.  I found more than a dozen decorating books that looked similar.  Inside those books were pages and pages of homes with markedly less stuff than the traditional home.  No cluttered entryway with tons of shoes.  No counters littered with gadgets.  Instead, there were earthy, vintage wares that were carefully curated to achieve a hip, on-trend, zen vibe in a tranquil palette of black, white, and flax.    

Cue the elephant wisdom:  that is bullshit.

Our homes are filled with treasures and tools that float in and out of our lives over a lifetime: a mass-produced ceramic monkey glazed over ten years ago by your (then) eight year old, decade-old cooking utensils stored in a marked down crock you scored at a potters’ shop with your sister 15 years ago, a Goodwill toaster, trivets you bought your mother in law for Christmas 22 years ago that floated back to you when she died, a pepper grinder you received as a gift 30 years ago.  It is unlikely that these things will fit the rigid color program we adopted when we “went Simple.”  True simple interiors are a hodge podge of beloved and practical wares that stick with us because of sentiment and performance.  They transcend fashion because their ability to spark joy has nothing to do with color or style.  Banishing such wares because they do not fit a minimalist palette or have the right silhouette sends a wasteful message that guts our kitchen of its soul.      

Eighty percent of those who reviewed the most popular Simple Living book gave it 5 stars mostly because “the photos are beautiful.”  For these people, the aspiration being peddled is indeed one of less stuff which is simpler, but that stuff follows a fashionable program -- all to sell books. 

If you really want to live simply, clock out of catalogs, books, and influencers that peddle unrealistic images that kindle waste and become attuned to the profit motives behind what you find attractive.  Embrace colors and styles that accommodate your hodge podge – both the one you have now and your future hodge podge which is sure to be different.  In fact, a highly colorful scheme – the opposite of what is in those Simple Living books – allows anything to fit in, now and later. 

Shun unrealistic pictures of homes in the same way you shun pictures of photoshopped supermodels.  They are unhealthy images designed to make you feel pain so that you rush to buy a salve made of snake oil.

If you use social media, leverage it.  Behind every social media app is an affinity algorithm designed to show you whatever you are interested in.   So take responsibility for what you are interested in.  I discovered this from Dove’s Real Beauty campaign.  I saw a print ad with a 45 year old model (rare at the time) who was beautifully…ordinary.  Inspired by this campaign, I searched Pinterest for “real women over 50.”  Thanks to affinity algorithms, I now have a robust collection of pictures of everyday women in their 50s.  I look at this board to detox from the onslaught of unhealthy aspirational images of faces and bodies that I will never have.  Like a plant that tilts its leaves to the sun, my taste is tilting to something just as warm and healthy – all because my feed is following my agenda. 

It is not perfect.  You can easily wind up with a board full of 50 year old supermodels.  But if you stay aware and experiment with social media’s dials, you can cultivate an aspiration that is not rooted in manipulative illusion.